The Beginning of the End

Yesterday was the first day, of my last semester of high school. Ever. I thought I’d be excited, overjoyed and looking forward to what the next chapter of my life will bring. But I’m not. I’m scared. Waking up with butterfly’s in my tummy and a heavy heart I roll out of bed. Today is my last, first day. I thought in Gr. 9 that the next 4 years of my life would be the longest ever, and it felt it. Until today, I feel like I blinked and now it’s almost over. I don’t even want to imagine what I am going to feel on my last day ever.

They say the last 4 years of my life are supposed to be the best of my life. I hope to god they are wrong. The pressure of making high school an amazing experience is huge, and it’s wrong. I hope that from the age of 14-18 are not my best. I hope that they are my worst. Why are we so caught up in making these 4 years of our lives the best? Seeing others try so hard to make these years there best and watching them slowly fade away into a mirage of something else, something that when you look closer isn’t true at all. I hope that these aren’t others best years either. Most don’t remember the fun nights out and tried so hard to have fun that they became the worst nights, in the hospital, playing with the line of death and life, with the only memories being blurry photos taken by their ‘friends’.

My best years are ahead of me. Although it is daunting and eating away at my sanity it feels. The best moments in my life are yet to happen, as well as some pretty horrible ones. My happiness in 10 years will not be determined by the last 4 years of my life. They will be determined by the moment I am living in.

WILL YOU LIVE IN YOUR BEST MOMENTS?

B.xx

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